I realize now that bad things happen everywhere. It doesn’t matter if you live in a good neighborhood. It doesn’t matter if you’ve tried to do all you can to avoid it from happening. I can’t help but feel the immense pain this mother endured. A 1-year-old boy was shot in the head as he was asleep in the stroller, by 2 boys who tried to rob his mother. You wouldn’t wish this on your enemy. Many people are outraged how cold of a human being do you have to be to shoot a helpless infant. More than that, the baby was asleep. I’ve had tears streaming down my face since I’ve heard this story. Another child killed at gunpoint. Horrendous terror doesn’t begin to cover the traumatizing realization these episodes inflict upon you that there is nowhere where you can be safe at all times. I was adamant about us moving from downtown Seattle for many reasons and safety being on the top of my list. I don’t feel safe here: it’s the people, it’s the reckless drivers, it’s the crime and guns. I wanted to move to the suburbs because I had the naive hope that nothing bad happens where you know thy neighbor and kids play hockey out on the street. But predators visit such neighborhoods too, it turns out.

I am still traumatized, and I don’t even know her. Mostly because I keep putting myself in that position – how desperate I would have been at that very moment and what would I have done. Just take my wallet out, regardless of whether there is any cash in it, and hurl it as far as I can and then sprint as fast as I can with the stroller in the other direction? Glue myself to the stroller as a body shield? It’s easier to say “should have” now that it’s over. I can’t handle stories of children dying evidently. They hit too close to home.

I remember the night I came home when my mom got the phone call from Russia that my cousin died. Everyone was so devastated. And no, he wasn’t a baby. He wasn’t even a child. He was 28. It was a freak accident, horrific in nature, but nonetheless. He was working on a ship, was supposed to be out at sea, when the officers came to my grandma’s to deliver the news. His mother could not be reached at the time because she was out on vacation for 3 more days. My grandma had a stroke soon afterwards from all the stress. I don’t know how my aunt was able to get through it all honestly. Losing a child at any age is hard but a baby…